Total confusion, I had to leave. I really wanted to go. On December 7, I accidentally entered the Evs website and read “immediate departure for Albania-project on disability.” It was everything I was looking for, it was everything I had studied for, all I wanted to do in my life. And after all…I wanted to go! I was even willing to do it without my guitar, my other half. So I sent the CV, called the association and started to wait. On the day of my twenty-seventh birthday, at 8 am, I was called and told to pack. Once at the airport I was so excited, I was not afraid at all, I just wanted to go and explore new places.
So now here I am. It’s been 16 days, but time seems to pass at a different speed, here. Everything’s so intense, so full. Relationships evolve quickly and soon turn into sincere affection. The fear of the end starts to appear soon.
All the volunteers and the group to which I belong are the most valuable, important landmarks in this period, they are already almost a family. A half- Italian, half- Romanian and above all Albanian family. A family to which I feel that I belong. A home where you can share everything, from milk to cigarettes, to talking. And if I’m scared because some thoughts have come back – the same which casually slipped in my rucksack – I go out of the room and always find someone who can make me smile.
I really like the work at the center, I like being there, feeling useful someway. It ‘hard to understand so many things, contradictions, it is difficult to understand cultural differences about the “disability” topic, to understand why there are still special schools, marginalization. To understand why so many things do not work. And you would want to do more. But one has to start from somewhere, and I’m happy to be here, at least to try. To see, to do, to stand. To be.
And now, with my new Albanian guitar, I want to write new music, music that will carry the name of this time and of this moon. Chiara